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by booksoverlookedblog

And Now for Something Completely Different…

July is Flash Fiction Month! I haven’t been able to get much writing done this summer, and flash fiction is a great way to get back into it. Flash fiction are stories of 1,000 words or fewer. They’re fun and challenging, and a great way to stretch your writing muscles.

Last year I participated on DeviantArt, but this year the Mighty Hydra has migrated Flash Fiction Month to WordPress. Check it out here: https://flashficmonth.wordpress.com/

I’ll be migrating my work with the Hydra as well. I don’t post original fiction…well, anywhere, anymore. But for the month of July only, every day there will be a different piece of flash fiction here from yours truly.

And I do mean the month of July only. After FFM is over, I’ll be removing most, if not all, of the short stories, or putting it behind a paywall. This isn’t so I can make money (lol, writers making money), but to protect the work from plagiarism and possible AI training.

I have no idea what I’m going to write for FFM, but it’s going to be a lot of fun.

Viva!

by booksoverlookedblog

A Birthday Letter

This is not my usual blog fare, but last night I remembered an event in my life that happened 21 years ago today. Today – my 34th birthday.

When I was twelve, I began experiencing intrusive thoughts of self-harm. I didn’t want to die or hurt myself, and I didn’t understand where these thoughts were coming from. I knew more about Catholicism than I did psychology, and I was afraid that I was possessed by the devil. I finally got so scared, I confessed all this to my mom the night of my 13th birthday. I wasn’t sure how to break the news to her, so I told her that I wasn’t sure if I would make it to 14.

Soon I was meeting with a child psychologist, and the thoughts went away. I got help, and I got better.

I’d nearly forgotten about that, but I wanted to let the thirteen-year-old version of me know:

You’re going to see 14. And 24. And 34. And you’re going to be so damn happy. Happier than you ever thought you would be. You will see and do things you never thought you’d be able to. So ask for help, and keep holding on. You’ll get there, I promise.

Love,
Kaye

p.s. You’re not possessed, you have untreated anxiety.

by booksoverlookedblog

Reason for Ban:

I like to joke that “I write gooder than I talk.” I’m very passionate about a lot of things, and when I’m talking about them, it can lead to some wild ranting. Anyone who’s been around me after a beer or two can confirm. Writing forces me to slow down, take a step back, and organize my thoughts.

This month, I wanted to write something about the alarming frequency of challenging and banning books. June is Pride, and some of the most frequently challenged or banned books in the past several years have been challenged for LGBTQIA+ content. It’s infuriating.

It’s so infuriating that every time I try to organize my thoughts around it, I see red and it all devolves into a rant that’s better suited to a soapbox than a blog post.

But I don’t think I can put it more succinctly than one of the kids at my teen advisory board did last night:

Me: A lot of books are being challenged or banned for having queer or DEI content.
Teen: What’s DEI?
Me: Diversity, equity, and inclusion. In book challenges, it’s usually related to race.
Teen: That’s stupid.

This is obviously something I care a lot about. I’m aiming to write something more in-depth for October, since Banned Books Week is October 1-7. Until then, I wanted to share a poem I wrote in April 2020 on this topic.

Reason for Ban:
by Kaye Norton

Banned for profanity
Our kids don’t use language like that.
They’ve never heard those words on TV.
We don’t use them at home.
Of course they don’t say them when we’re not around.

Banned for alcohol use
Our kids have never seen us with a glass of wine
or stolen sips from our beers.
They’ve never drank from red plastic cups at parties
or even wondered about the taste.

Banned for sexual content
Our kids don’t know what lust is.
Certainly, they’ve never felt it.
Never spun bottles,
laid in the backseat of a car,
or felt the breathless rush of young love.

Banned for bullying
Our kids have never thrown a punch,
or spread vicious rumors,
or spent a day crying in the bathroom,
and faked being sick to stay home
because someone threatened to kill them.

Banned for religious viewpoint
Because we have faith in God
But not our kids.

by booksoverlookedblog

Read with Pride: June Book Recommendations

Before we get into June’s book recommendations, I just want to let everyone know that there won’t be a book list for July, and possibly not one for August. As a children’s librarian, summer is my busiest time of the year. Much as I wanted to create a book recommendation list for every month this year, I’m a little overwhelmed right now and it’s just not in the cards. 

June is my favorite month for many reasons: my birthday, the start of summer, and many good memories I have of school ending. June is also  Pride Month! First established in 1999, Pride Month commemorates the 1969 Stonewall Riots that are often used to mark the beginning of the gay rights movement in the United States. LGBTQIA+ rights have come a long way since then, but it is still an uphill battle, particularly for the trans and nonbinary community. 

I live in Florida, which has passed extreme anti-LGBTQIA+ laws, including the infamous “Don’t Say Gay” law (which recently was extended to eighth grade); HB 1521, which regulates bathroom use; and SB 245, which bans gender-affirming care for trans minors and allows the state to remove children from their families if they receive gender-affirming care.  The Human Rights Campaign, the largest LGBTQIA+ group in the U.S., has even issued a travel advisory for  individuals traveling to Florida.

I am obviously disgusted and enraged by the bigotry and cruelty present in these new laws, and my heart breaks for the trans and nonbinary community. I often feel frustrated and small, and that there should have been something more I could have done to stop this from happening. 

One way I can fight back is through my job. I’m a public librarian, which means that (for now) I don’t have the same restrictions on talking about gender and orientation as school staff do. At the time of this writing, public libraries also don’t have the same restrictions on what books people can have access to. I take my job very seriously. I feel that I have a responsibility to help fill the gaps that kids and teens no longer have easy access to. 

I do a lot of the ordering for YA books at my library, and I’m really pleased to see that there is a lot more LGBTQIA+ representation than there has been in the past. Certainly much more than when I was a teen, and more positive representation as well! Queer and non-binary characters are no longer relegated to being one-off jokes, side-kicks, or dying gruesomely, but are fully realized characters whose orientation or gender identity does not define them. 

There are still many areas where LGBTQIA+ fiction is lacking. For example, I’ve come across way more books about trans boys than trans girls, and very few books have asexual characters as the lead. Also, the majority of LGBTQIA+ fiction I come across is contemporary romance. I think all of these things will improve with time, but it’s the last one I want to talk about right now. There’s nothing wrong with contemporary romance, of course, though it’s not my favorite thing to read. There still isn’t a large amount LGBTQIA+ representation in genre fiction (though it’s improving!), which is disappointing. Queer and nonbinary individuals should still be able to see themselves in their favorite genres – historical, fantasy, sci-fi…and yes, even contemporary romance, if you insist. 

For the fiction half of this list, I’m focusing on genre fiction. Because you know what’s better than two boys finding true love? Two boys finding true love IN SPACE!

Nonfiction

This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson

This Book is Gay has the honor of being one of the most challenged books in the U.S. for two years running, for “LGBTQIA+ content” and “providing sex education.” Dawson’s book seeks to educate both queer and straight teens on same-sex relationships, including the physical aspects of those relationships. But sex is far from the only thing this book covers. It’s got everything from coming out, dating apps, discussions of queer culture, and the downsides of being LGBTQIA+. The breezy, upbeat writing is frequently witty and always informative, and black and white cartoons add humor into even the hardest topics the book covers, like harassment and discrimination. But I honestly can’t describe this book any better than the summary itself: “There’s a long-running joke that, after coming out as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or intersex person, you should receive a membership card and instruction manual. This is that instruction manual. You’re welcome.” 

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker

While there is much better queer representation in the media today, asexuality is an orientation that often gets left out. It’s also frequently misunderstood, or treated as a joke. Because of this, it can be difficult for someone on the asexual spectrum to understand their orientation or have it be taken seriously.  It can be a huge relief to find the right word to describe yourself, and know that you’re not the only one who feels this way. The Invisible Orientation discusses asexuality and other ace-spectrum orientations, while emphasizing fluidity and that asexuality can change over time. It also addresses myths about asexuality, that being asexual is healthy and not the result of a physical or mental illness, and includes a chapter for friends and family of asexual people. I’ve known for awhile now that I’m on the ace spectrum, and while the label doesn’t matter to me much anymore, seeing myself in this book made me feel validated in a way I’d never been. 

Say it with me: we’re here, we’re queer, we don’t wanna touch your rear!

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

You’ve probably heard of Gender Queer before: maybe because it’s a Stonewall Honor Book, or maybe because it’s been the most frequently challenged book in the U.S. for the past two years. Gender Queer is a graphic novel that chronicles Maia Kobabe’s (e/eir/em) journey from childhood to adulthood, as e discovers eirself as nonbinary and asexual. The book starts in Maia’s childhood, and covers eir confusion about eir orientation, gender identity, and dating. Even after Maia discovers that e is gender queer, eir journey continues with coming out to friends and family, changing pronouns, and coming into eir own as a nonbinary person. This is a great choice for older teens and adults who are nonbinary, or seek to understand what it means to be nonbinary. 

The 57 Bus by Dashka Slater

Richard and Sasha’s paths probably would have never crossed if not for the 57 bus, which runs between Sasha’s middle class home Oakland’s foothills, and Richard’s crime-riddled community in the flatlands. Agender teen Sasha fell asleep on the bus, and woke to find their skirt in flames. The fire was set by Richard, and left Sasha with severe burns. Sasha’s recovery would require a lengthy hospital stay, multiple surgeries, and months of follow-up treatments. Richard was arrested and charged with two felonies and two hate crimes, potentially facing life in prison. The 57 Bus tells both Sasha’s and Richard’s stories: Sasha’s love of language and all things Russian, discovering their gender identity, and life after a devastating attack; Richard as a troubled kid trying to turn his life around, despite many obstacles. The book examines prejudice, discrimination, and even danger faced by  individuals, as well as the injustices of the juvenile justice system. 

Queerstory: An Infographic History of the Fight for LGBTQ+ Rights, published by Tiller Press, with forward by Linda Riley.

Queer history in the United States didn’t begin with Stonewall, and it didn’t end with the legalization of same-sex marriage. You can find a number of books about LGBTQIA+ history – especially if you’re looking for information about Stonewall or the AIDS Crisis – but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. If you’re just looking for a quick overview of the LGBTQIA+ rights movement, a jumping-off point for more in-depth learning, or a very colorful way to learn queer history, then Queerstory will not disappoint. Loaded with illustrations, timelines, brief biographies, and facts, Queerstory presents LGBTQIA+ history in a visually appealing and digestible way. While not as in-depth as other books on queer history, the colorful presentation and infographic format add a splash of fun into what is often a weighty topic.

Fiction

Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman

Lea wasn’t just Rumi’s sister. Lea was Rumi’s best friend, the other half of her soul. Writing songs with her was one of the greatest joys of Rumi’s life. Lea understood Rumi in a way that no one else did, like how Rumi felt left behind when her friends started dating and she just doesn’t understand why romance has to be such a big deal for everyone but her. When Lea is killed in an accident, Rumi is lost, unsure of what to do with her life without her sister in it. Her distant mother, consumed by grief, sends Rumi from their home in Washington to live with her aunt in Hawaii. Rumi navigates her grief, survivor’s guilt, and deep rage over her sister’s death and mother’s abandonment, while trying to understand her asexuality and complete the last song she and Lea would ever write together. At first, she wants nothing to do with Hawaii or her new neighbors – Kai, the cheerful boy next door, and the curmudgeonly Mr. Watanabe. But maybe, with their help, she can find her way back to the music that she once loved so much. 

Dreadnought by April Daniels

Danny Tozer has known for a long time that she’s a girl, even if she has a boy’s body. She’s afraid to come out as trans, but her secret’s out when the world’s greatest superhero, Dreadnought, falls out of the sky. Dying, Dreadnought transfers his superpowers to Danny, giving her super strength, flight, and the body she always wanted. Transitioning suddenly and gaining superpowers makes life a little complicated: Danny’s vitriolic and verbally abusive father is looking for a way to “cure” her; the Legion Pacifica of superheroes are in disagreement if Danny should be the new Dreadnought; even Danny’s best friend has abandoned her. “Caping” with fellow superhero Calamity helps Danny escape from her civilian troubles. The girls start small, but Danny is determined to track down Utopia, the super villain who killed Dreadnought. Danny doesn’t feel that she deserves the gift that he gave her, and this is how she can repay him. Yet as her journey as a trans girl and a superhero go on, she comes to understand that she deserves Dreadnought’s mantle – and more – as much as he did. 

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Melinda Lo

It’s 1954, and seventeen-year-old Lily struggles to find a place where she belongs. While other girls her age are worrying about boys, Lily instead dreams of working at the Jet Propulsion Lab, like her aunt. She and her classmate Kath connect over an ad for a male impersonator at the lesbian bar, The Telegraph Club, and both girls’ lives are forever changed.  Lily gradually realizes she is a lesbian and falls in love with Kath, but following her heart is a huge risk. McCarthyism is in full-swing, and Chinese-Americans like Lily and her family could face deportation if they are accused of being Communist sympathizers. Being a lesbian only adds to the danger.  Lily learns how to switch between ostensibly straight, Chinatown Lily and Telegraph Club Lily. But when the two halves of her life collide, she will have a difficult choice to make that will change everything. 

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer

Ambrose Cusk wakes to find himself in space, but he has no memory of a launch. Apparently, he was injured in an accident at launch and has been in a coma for weeks. Even so, Ambrose remembers his mission clearly: he is being sent to Saturn’s moon, Titan, to rescue his sister. He’s also surprised to find that he is not alone on the ship. Spacefarer Kodiak Celius is from Demokratia, the country locked in a cold war with Ambrose’s home country, Federacion. At first Kodiak keeps his distance, but Ambrose gradually draws him out of his chosen seclusion. As their journey progresses, both boys discover that there’s something sinister happening on board. Why can’t they get in touch with mission control? Is the ship’s AI telling them the truth about Ambrose’s sister? These two sworn enemies must work together to discover the deadly secrets being kept hidden from them, at the same time coming to understand each other in the stark isolation of outer space. 

On a personal note, I recommend that you don’t read this on your lunch break at work. Once your break is over you’ll have to go back to work and try to be normal and not act like you’ve just been emotionally destroyed at the hands of a paperback. 

The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas

In the beginning, Sol and Tierra made the gods: the “powerful but vain” Golds, the “kind but focused” Jades, and the “passionate but selfish” Obsidians. But Sol and Tierra loved humans the most, and the jealous Obsidians turned them into mindless slaves. Sol sacrificed their body to protect humans, leaving the Sun Stones behind. Every ten years, the Sunbearer Trials are held, in which the children of the gods, or semidioses, compete to be chosen as the Sunbearer who will rekindle the Sun Stones. The loser of the trials has the dubious honor of being sacrificed to fuel them for another decade. Teo, the trans son of the goddess of birds, has no interest in the Trials. As a Jade surrounded by more talented Gold peers, he’s certain he’ll never be picked. But he and his best friend, Niya, must both compete against each other in the Trials, alongside Aurelio, Teo’s old friend turned enemy. Then there’s Xio, the thirteen-year-old trans son of the god of bad luck. No matter the outcome, Teo and Niya are determined to protect Xio from being sacrificed. The Hunger Games meets Mexican mythology in a lush, queer positive fantasy.

by booksoverlookedblog

Blog Revival Part Whatever

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s me reviving this blog for the third? Fourth time? Yes, it’s been awhile. It seems like the last time I stopped here I set out on a quest to read 52 youth books in as many weeks, and then disappeared. Did my quest consume me? Well, a little bit, among other things.

Since I last posted here, waaaay back in June 2021, I’ve done a lot. I’ve had some good times and bad times, and some days that are a weird mix of both. I finally graduated with my Master’s in Library and Information Science in August 2021! I landed a job as a children’s librarian in at a public library in February 2022. It’s a great job and there are still times when I can’t believe I get paid to do this. I’m learning so much and having an absolute blast. Why did I ever want to be anything other than a children’s librarian?

Another kind of incredible thing that happened to me: my short story, “Someday Promise” was published by The First Line Literary Journal. This is my first time getting published, and I’ve got more short stories and a novel in the works. It won’t be easy, but I hope someday those stories will see the light of day this next year, too.

And so, it has come time (again), to bring this poor, neglected blog back to life once more. And, like the previous revivals, things are going to look a little different around here.

First, I did finish reading those 52 children’s books, though it took quite a bit longer than 52 weeks. I also have several posts that I wrote but haven’t edited or published yet, mostly “Books I Didn’t Pick.” Those will finally see the light of day in 2023.

There’s also going to be new stuff! Each month, I’ll be posting a list of book recommendations based around a theme. January’s is – what else? – New Year, New Me.

All of these will be mixed in with observations (I hesitate to call them “essays”) on various subjects that interest me as a reader, writer, or and/or librarian. The blog officially restarts for, like the 4th time, on January 6. I’m looking forward to reading back and sharing some great books with you.

by booksoverlookedblog

Trans Discrimination in School Sports

This blog has long since talked about social issues, typically as they relate to books. While it is unlike me to use this blog for such blatant soapboxing as this, I’ve recently had an uptick in my traffic here. I want to use this as an opportunity to talk about something important to me: the wave of anti-trans legislation, coming to a school near you.

On June 1st, the first day of Pride Month, Florida Governor Ran DeSantis signed the “Fairness in Women’s Sports Act”, which bars any trans girls from playing on public schools girl teams. This is only the latest is a series of similar laws have been signed in Idaho, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Tennessee, with many other states proposing similar legislation.
I just want to mention that in Florida there have only been 11 trans students who applied for screening to participate in sports since 2013.

Eleven. Out of the whole state. This isn’t urgent legislation; trans athletes are not threatening anyone or taking away their chances. This is just hateful politicians trying to appease their base by creating discriminatory laws by targeting an already vulnerable group.

The Trevor Project
National Center for Transgender Equality
PFLAG
Human Rights Campaign

I know that not everyone sees these laws as inherently discriminatory, and I understand why. Sports and gender is not a new issue. Just ask Dutee Chand. Lawmakers use misinformation and fear, not scientific knowledge, to justify barring trans girls from school sports. In essence, they believe that trans girls will have an advantage over cisgender girls in competition, with the implication that trans females are not female.

Except that’s not true. This interview sums it up fairly well*. Let me give you a quick recap:

[Estrogen use by trans women] will reduce their muscle mass and red blood cells, which carry the oxygen necessary for better performance. And that will also reduce the speed, the strength and the endurance. [. . .] [A]t a high school level, many trans youth do delay their puberty, which means that even if they are not taking these gender-affirming hormones, their natural puberty in their biological sex is not happening, therefore resulting in a delay and an absence of an effect on muscle mass, at least for the male-to-female situation. So the supposed advantage of muscle mass and red blood cells because of testosterone becomes moot in middle and often high school competitions when there have been puberty blockers involved.

Dr. Eric Vilain, M.D., PhD


Luckily, the NCAA and International Olympics Committee are a little more up on the science than certain politicians. Both have put forth policies (linked here) regarding inclusion of trans athletes in college sports and the Olympics, respectively. In short, provided the athletes can meet the requirements in these guidelines, there is no reason they should be barred from competition.

Contact your representatives and tell them you support inclusive school sports for trans athletes. If you are able, please consider donating to one of the above organizations to help support trans students, and fight against harmful and unjust laws.

#TransWomenAreWomen

#TransMenAreMen

#TransRightsAreHumanRights

*For more science, in greater detail:

Sport and Transgender People: A Systematic Review of the Literature Relating to Sport Participation and Competitive Sport Policies
Trans Girls Belong on Sports Teams
Laws banning trans athletes from competing in girls’ and women’s sports not grounded in science, say experts
Radiolab Presents: Gonads
Stop talking about testosterone, there’s no such thing as ‘true sex’
Laws banning trans athletes from competing in girls’ and women’s sports not ground in science, experts say

Don’t fuck with me man, I’m a librarian.

by booksoverlookedblog

Pandemic Fatigue and Mental Health

I haven’t been keeping up with the posting schedule that I set for myself. In fact, I haven’t been doing much of anything for the past few weeks. I’ve been pretty down, and quite lethargic. I had thought that I’d adapted well to living through a pandemic – I even got married during it – but as time goes on, COVID has worn on me more and more. I want to go to a restaurant and watch a movie in theaters. I want to sip hot chocolate at my favorite café and have friends visit. But I can’t do any of those things.

I, like a lot of people, have been experiencing pandemic fatigue. Some days I fight against depression, or my already high levels of anxiety are peaked. As the pandemic continues with no clear end in sight, I can feel my life and my emotional health erode around me. I feel so isolated and frustrated.

I know I’m not alone in this. Instead of my usual book-related post, I wanted to use this as an opportunity to help share some mental health tips and resources with you here.

Before I do, I want to say that I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, but I am not a licensed therapist, doctor, or medical professional of any kind. I have done my best to vet the information and resources here, but I cannot provide actual medical advice. There will also be links throughout this post, but none of them are sponsored. Lastly, most of my resources will be based in the United States, as that’s where I live and have the most information about.

I’ll be putting many links from the section about finding therapy in the resources page. That way you won’t need to scroll through a long post if there’s something you’d like to check out later on.

Now, let’s try to work some of the pandemic blues away. I’ll talk about therapy a little later on, but here are some methods you can try on your own.

Acknowledge what you’re feeling, and feel it. When I last talked to my therapist (more on that later), we talked about pandemic fatigue, and how it was affecting me. She spoke about the pandemic fatigue that she’s seen in other people, and told me that everyone’s experience was unique to them. There’s no singular way people are reacting to the pandemic, and everyone’s mental health needs will be different. My advice is: give yourself a break. You can’t command yourself to stop being sad, or anxious, or however you’re feeling. But don’t beat yourself up, or feel guilty. We are living through hard times, which none of us would have ever imagined two years ago. Give yourself a little time to just feel whatever it is you need to – anger, sorrow, fear – and keep going forward.

Exercise. Get up off the couch! Study after study has proven benefits of exercise for both physical and mental health. It’s shown to be effective in mitigating symptoms of depression and anxiety, and lowering stress levels. In the immortal words of Elle Woods: “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.” For a more professional take, here are a few articles with more detailed information:

Depression and anxiety: Exercise eases symptoms – Mayo Clinic
The exercise effect – American Psychological Association
The Mental Health Benefits of Exercise – HelpGuide

Journal. I’m not saying this only because I’m a writer, but because there are many proven mental health benefits to writing, and journaling in particular. Maybe you have days where it feels like the world is spinning around you, and you can’t quite get a grip on anything. Or maybe you’re anxious or sad or angry, but you’re not really sure why. When you journal, you turn the chaos around you into a narrative, helping to make sense of seemingly random events. As you write, you may also find you have better clarity over what’s causing you to be stressed out or upset. Or maybe you just need to vent somewhere; a journal is the perfect place to do that.

If starting a journal sounds intimidating, remember you don’t need to share what you write in there with anyone else. Don’t worry if it’s not pretty or well-written. Write whatever comes to mind, say whatever it is you need to say. You’re writing for yourself, not anyone else. There are also many guided journals available, which provide you with prompts to reflect on and write about.

Journaling for Mental Health – University of Rochester
Take Note – Northwestern Medicine
Reasons Why You Should Start Journaling – BBC
Writing Tips that Can Reduce Symptoms – NAMI

Get yourself some therapy.

This is it. This is the big one. Therapy and mental health are still, unfortunately, stigmatized by many people. Mental health isn’t always easy or comfortable to talk about, and it can be hard to find help because of that. It can also be hard to admit that you might need therapy. Speaking from my own personal experience, sometimes going into therapy felt like I had failed myself. I worked so hard to keep my mental health issues under control and under wraps, and was frustrated and dejected because that control was slipping. In most of those cases, though, external factors were threatening to overwhelm me, and strained my mental well-being. Realizing this, therapy became a mental “tune-up” for me, in the same way your car might need a tune up from time to time.

Here’s how I try to look at it now: if you get injured – maybe you’ve torn a muscle or broken a leg – you would go see a doctor. Your doctor has the expertise that you lack to help patch you up and help you recover. If you think of your mind as a muscle, it only makes sense that you would see another professional to help you heal from whatever illness or injuries might be ailing you.

If you think it’s time to try therapy, it can be hard to know where to start looking for a therapist. One of the most common ways that people find therapists is through word-of-mouth and recommendations from friends or family. If you’re willing, don’t be afraid to ask for recommendations.

If you’re a student, most high schools and universities have counselors and counseling centers, where you can go to seek help for mental health. Check your school’s website or student handbook for more information.

If you’re employed in the U.S., many companies have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) which provides free short-term counseling to employees (and typically their families as well). The details of using an EAP will vary between companies, but in general, they provide 2-3 counseling sessions. If that’s all you need, great! If not, many will provide referrals for continuing therapy.

With few exceptions (I’ll talk more about confidentiality in a bit), whatever you say in your counseling sessions is private. In most cases, your boss doesn’t ever need to know that you’re using an EAP. Your counselor cannot disclose any information to anyone else without written consent from you, unless they are court ordered to do so, or to protect yourself or another person from harm.

EAPs do work a bit differently in terms of confidentiality when the employee is mandated to attend counseling by an employer. The employer may receive information about the employee’s attendance, compliance, recommendations from the counselor, and notice of completing treatment. In this case, the employee still must give written permission to share this information, but the employer will be receiving feedback.

Your insurance provider can be another way to find a therapist. Look to see if there are any therapists “in-network” that you can get an appointment with.

I also want to acknowledge that there’s an extra layer of challenge in finding a therapist if you’re a person of color and/or if you’re a LGBTQAI+ individual. This article from Healthline lists several resources for BIPOC and LGBTQAI+ people to find therapists, as support networks, and organizations for financial assistance for therapy.

How To Find And Fund Therapy as a BIPOC – Healthline

This takes us into another common reason why people don’t seek therapy: the cost.

Therapy can get expensive, and even if your insurance does cover it, they might not cover all the costs entirely. There are other options, though, that can make therapy more affordable.

First, there’s the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline: https://www.nami.org/help (1-800-950-NAMI). The Helpline is not therapy, but can provide support, coping strategies, and referrals and resources for mental health needs.

You can also look for mental health services provided by your local government. Check your county’s website, or your county’s health department’s website. You can usually find a link to the county’s mental health center, which should offer some form of counseling or therapy.

If you live near a university, you can also see if the university offers a clinic you could take advantage of. Universities which offer advanced degrees in clinical psychology typically run mental health clinics for the public. Student psychologists, under the supervision their instructors, work in these clinics to gain experience working as therapists. These services are typically provided for low or no cost.

Online therapy may also be an option. The prices range between services, they are often cheaper than traditional in-person therapy (even though that’s being done remotely now, too).

I also found a few articles that list a few other options I haven’t mentioned here.

Mental Health Services: How to Get Treatment if You Can’t Afford It – NBC
Therapy for Every Budget: How to Access It – Healthline
Low Cost Treatment – Anxiety & Depression Association of America
Strategies to Afford Mental Health Treatment – NAMI

If you’re just starting therapy, or are thinking about therapy and are a little apprehensive about it all, there’s just a few I want you to know, to hopefully make your journey smoother.

Confidentiality is key when it comes to therapy. There are only a few special circumstances when a therapist will break confidentiality.

These special circumstances are:

  • The client is an imminent danger to themselves and/or others
  • The therapist suspects abuse
  • The therapist has received a subpoena to share information on the client
  • The client gives the therapist permission to share information.

Everything else stays between you and your therapist. You can say whatever you need to.

When you start therapy, you might have to do something called an “intake interview”. Your therapist will ask about your background, why you’re starting therapy, and probably more questions based on your reason for being there. These questions aren’t meant to make you feel judged, but to help tailor therapy to your needs.

To be totally honest: the intake interview is uncomfortable. It can feel awkward and be really hard to get through. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: most therapists hate conducting them, too. They find it just as awkward as you do.

There’s another thing you need to know about therapy: it takes time. Therapy is not a magic pill that you can swallow and make things better after you finish a session. It’s work, and you may not feel the positive effects right away. In fact, it’s not uncommon to feel more down immediately following a therapy session than when you started. In therapy, there’s usually a lot of raw emotion that you have to deal with, and your therapist is there to guide you and help you process it in a healthy way. It can get pretty intense and be hard. But if you keep working on your mental health, you will have better coping skills and thinking patterns, and you will feel better.

Okay, so what if you’ve found your therapist, you’ve sat through the intake, but you and your therapist just aren’t meshing? Rapport does take time to build, but maybe your personalities are just too different, or maybe you need help in an area that your therapist doesn’t have much experience in. In this case, you may be referred to another therapist. Being referred to another therapist doesn’t mean that you were a bad client. It just means that there is someone else who would be better able to help you. At my college’s health center, I did one session with a male counselor. After that session, we both agreed that I would make more progress if I talked to one of the female counselors instead. I didn’t dislike the male counselor, but we both understood that it would be better for me to talk to another woman. Referrals are okay, and you don’t need to be worried if you’re referred to someone else.

We’ve all been very concerned with physical health for the past year, but please, don’t neglect your mental health. I hope you found something useful in this post. Remember that you are valued and loved. Take care of and be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

by booksoverlookedblog

#1000BlackGirlBooks: One Crazy Summer

One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia tells the story of Delphine Gaither and her sisters, Vonetta and Fern. In the summer of 1968, they fly from New York City to Oakland to meet their mother, Cecile. Cecile left the family when Fern was a baby, and the sisters have next to no memories of their mother. She resents the intrusion into her life, and sends them to a summer camp run by the Black Panthers.

I was interested in this book, because for a long time, the only thing I knew about the Black Panthers came from a two-minute scene in Forrest Gump. Most media depicts the Black Panthers in a one-sided way, as a ruthless, militant group. It wasn’t until last year that I even learned about the survival programs the Black Panthers ran. These included the Free Breakfast for Children, community medical clinics, voter registration, and sickle-cell anemia testing. There’s no denying that the Black Panthers were a militant group, and they remain controversial today. But that’s not all they were.

Doing some research on the author herself, I learned that Williams-Garcia’s relatives were members of the Black Panther party. She grew up during the Civil Rights era, and refers to her diaries as her primary sources.

I don’t necessarily dislike historical fiction, but I am very picky about it. I’ve given up reading far more historical novels than I actually finish. So when I say that I couldn’t put this book down, you know that I was hooked. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know that characters tend to be what draws me into a story.

All the Gathier women are vibrant and memorable in their own ways. Eleven-year-old Delphine is the eldest, but often must act older than her years. She takes it upon herself to be her younger sisters’ guardian, helping to raise them after Cecile abandoned her family. The middle child, Vonetta, is showy and loves to be at the center of attention. Fern, the youngest, is clear-eyed and an emerging poet.

Cecile is hardly a warm matriarch, and doesn’t want the girls in her life. She’s associated with the Black Panthers and allows them to use her beloved printing press, but she doesn’t share their zeal. Her main concern is her poetry, and she doesn’t act anything like the mother the Gaither sisters imagined for most of the novel.

Another crucial piece of historical fiction is the setting. The time period and location are critical parts of the narrative. In a good historical fiction, the setting is woven together with the story to the point where you can’t separate them.

One Crazy Summer couldn’t be set anywhere but Oakland, CA in the summer of 1968. Along with the other social upheaval and counterculture movements at the time, the murder of Bobby Hutton had occurred only months prior to the beginning of the novel.

When the story begins, Delphine only knows a little about the Black Panthers, and her grandmother, “Big Ma”, only refers to its founders as troublemakers. When they first go to the center for breakfast and the day camp program, they are largely indifferent to the Panthers’ cause. As Vonetta says:

We didn’t come for revolution, we came for breakfast.

As the story progresses, Delphine starts reading the Black Panther’s newspaper, and becomes sympathetic to their cause. She takes pride in her work passing out fliers to encourage people to come to a rally, refusing to shop again at the grocery store that would not allow her to post one. By the end of the novel, she knows taht being associated with the Black Panthers is dangerous, but also understand the value of the party. She comes to better understand the racism and prejudice she and her loved ones face every day, and wants to fight back against it.

There’s a lot more I could talk about this book. I especially loved the importance that was placed on names and identity. However, I don’t want to spoil the events and significant moments in the book for you. I want you to go and read it. You won’t regret it.

One Crazy Summer was a fantastic book from start to finish, and I’ve added its two sequels onto my ever-growing to be read list. The characters and setting are vibrant and authentic, and the novel portrays another side of the Black Panthers that is rarely seen in media.

by booksoverlookedblog

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

This post contains many, many spoilers for A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins.

Just as I thought my days of watching teenagers kill each other for sport were over, I got dragged back in.

I’m not going to lie: I was definitely intrigued when I heard a new Hunger Games book was coming out. I couldn’t read the original trilogy fast enough. Like a lot of people, something about the Hunger Games series hooked me. Even now, I occasionally go back to those books, years after the books were read and the movies had wrapped, every so often, I still go back to the books.

I really like the original series, and I knew that I had to read The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

I didn’t like it.

I don’t think that it was an objectively bad book, and if you read it and loved it–great! Just because I don’t like a book doesn’t mean that it’s awful. A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes was the perfect book for someone…just not me.

This was something I never thought I’d say about a book, but here it is: I think Snow was the wrong choice for the protagonist.

This is one of the hard things about writing prequels. It’s not easy to build tension when we already know how Snow’s story ends. Whatever happens to Snow in this book, whatever dangerous situation he’s put in, he’s going to survive. He’s not just going to live to the end, he’s going to reign over Panem for decades.

Snow’s also hard to sympathize with. In many prequels starring the main series’s villain, we usually get a character who wants to be good and do the right thing. Typically, dire circumstances cause the protagonist to make hard choices, and lead to their inevitable moral downfall. We usually like this prequel protagonist, and feel sad knowing how things are going to end badly for them.

Unfortunately, I didn’t like Snow, even from the very start of the book. From the outset, he’s obsessed with status and regaining his family’s lost wealth, and cares for no one but himself. When he shows kindness to others – most notably his ostracized classmate Serjanus – he only does so because it will benefit him in some way. Snow was a sociopath from the start, and I didn’t find anything likable about him. Even his family’s poverty didn’t make me feel more sympathetic for him. Every time he complained about how he hated eating lima beans or cabbage, I wanted to shout at him that Katniss and her family almost starved to death in District 12, decades after Ballad takes place.

Actually, I just wanted to shout at him a lot throughout the book, but that’s largely because of the writing style.

Suzanne Collins has never been known for her subtlety. One of the main complaints I heard about the original Hunger Games books were that they spoon-fed the audience too much. I think that’s a fair criticism. Since Ballad was written in the third-person, I’d hoped that Collins had gotten away from shoving information down the reader’s throats. Unfortunately, just the opposite of that happened. It got way, way worse. Large portions of Snow’s inner monologues are about the “Three C’s”: chaos, control, and contract. He has deep discussions with one of the antagonists, Dr. Gaul, about human nature and the purpose of the Games.

The didactic nature of the prose ruined the character of Serjanus for me as well. I was certain that I would like him at the beginning of the book: a District-born boy who was raised in the Capitol. But by the end, everything that came out of h is mouth was so preachy, I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t cheer for him trying to rebel against the Capitol. Much like Snow, I just wanted him to shut up.

The unwanted philosophy discussions weren’t the only things with the subtlety of a sledge hammer. Collins made sure that her reader would never have to think for a minute to figure out what was going on. Take the folks songs that District 12’s tribute, Lucy Gray, sings. Snow’s inner monologue explains the meaning of each verse while she explains the songs. The lyrics themselves offer insights and clues, but they’re not that hard to figure out.

That’s far from the only time something like that occurs. Shortly before the tributes go into the arena, Snow drops a hint to Lucy Gray about how she might bring a weapon, of sorts, into the arena to help her.

She noticed the empty well where the cake of powder had sat an hour earlier. ‘Did there used to be powder here?’

‘There did, but–‘ began Coriolanus [. . .] ‘I thought you might want to use your own.’ [. . .]

Maybe he’d broken a rule or two by giving her the compact and suggest she fill it with rat poison, who knew?

I did cut out some of the above quote, but in less than two pages, it’s already revealed what the plan is. There’s no chance for the reader to guess at Snow’s hint or figure it out on their own. And for people who wouldn’t catch that hint, they’re robbed of the surprise.

This was just one of many examples, so I was really happy to see a scene where everything that happened in it was left implied. Snow gets caught cheating in the Games to help Lucy Gray, and is then expelled from the Academy and forced to enlist as a Peacekeeper. He gets called to meet with the dean of the Academy, thinking he’s going to be reward. When he gets to the meeting, however, he sees that the evidence of his cheating has been found.

There, arranged on the table like lab specimens, were three items: an Academy napkin stained with grape punch, his mother’s silver compact, and a dingy white handkerchief.

The meeting could not have lasted more than five minutes. Afterword, as agreed, Coriolanus headed directly to the Recruitment Center, where he became Panem’s newest, if not shiniest, Peacekeeper.

There. Perfect. The reader already knows the details of how Snow cheated, and the consequences he would face if he was caught. I was so happy that we were finally given a scene that doesn’t spell everything out for us. Something that finally left something to the reader’s imagination.

In the very next chapter, two and a half pages are dedicated to the details of the meeting between Snow and Dean Highbottom. Nothing left implied, nothing for the reader to wonder about.

The pacing really bothered me. For a series known for its action, this book is slow and plodding. There’s such a long wait before we even get to the Games, which was something that drew a lot of people into the series. A large portion of the book is taken up with pre-Hunger Games prep. While interesting at times, it also felt bloated, and I was chomping at the bit to get to the Games themselves.

When the Hunger Games finally begin, they’re disappointingly boring. Since we’re seeing this through Snow’s eyes, not Lucy Gray’s, we don’t see half of what goes on in the arena, and hear from the tributes even less.

After the Games, Snow becomes a Peacekeeper. He gets assigned to District 12, which is where the last third of the book takes place. It was a totally new setting, and the main conflict was so different from the first two-thirds of the story, it felt like a different book. It was just a slog for me to get through.

There were also the callbacks. For the most part, I didn’t mind them. At least, not the little ones, like lamb stew, or Snow’s grandmother mentioning that a news story will “catch fire”. It was the ones that were beaten over my head that annoyed me. Snow’s utter hatred for mockingjays, for example. Also, the song “The Hanging Tree”. We get to see its inspiration, and Lucy Gray write it. Some fans may have really liked these parts, but for me…well, I’ll just leave the wise words of Patton Oswalt here (NSFW video):

I don’t give a shit where the stuff I love comes from! I just love the stuff I love!

All that said, I don’t want to end on an entirely negative note. There were plenty of things that I did like about the book. Lucy Gray was a really good, colorful character. There was some ambiguity if her feelings for Snow were actually genuine, and her ultimate fate is left unknown. It gave the reader something to wonder about, even be hopeful for. Whatever happened to her, I’m squarely in her corner.

Despite my complaints about “The Hanging Tree”, I really did like some of the song lyrics. I’ve always been a fan of folk music, even if the narration felt the need to explain every verse to me. The only reason I might watch the inevitable film is to hear how those songs sound, instead having them awkwardly read to me by my audiobook’s narrator.

While I thought the pacing wasn’t great, it was also interesting to see life in the Capitol through the eyes of its citizens, not just the Hunger Games tributes. It was neat to see how the Games evolved, when tributes were treated like criminals, not superstars.

It even improved on something that really annoyed me in the original Hunger Games series. In the original, Katniss frequently fell unconscious and then was rescued by allies. Once she woke up, her allies would explain what she missed. It came off as a bit of a lazy way to move the plot forward. But that never happens to Snow, even when the situation would have absolutely warranted him being knocked unconscious. I can appreciate that Collins actually wrote the full scenes out for the readers to see, rather than getting information fed to us after.

I didn’t love this book, and it was disappointing for me in many ways. But if you read it and loved it, great! Just because it wasn’t for me doesn’t mean it can’t be the perfect book for you.

by booksoverlookedblog

52 Children’s Books in 52 Weeks

52 Books in 52 Weeks: The Quest
Part 1: The Books
Part 2: The Authors

This isn’t a proper blog post, so much as an accountability booster for a reading project. I’ve never set goals for pleasure reading for myself before, this the only thing I had closely resembling a “goal” was “read all the books!”

I do have a career goal, though, which is to become a youth services librarian. One thing that’s important for me to do is to know what kids are currently into. The books I loved when I was 10 are not necessarily books kids today will love. To that end, my goal is to read 1 book from The New York Times best sellers for children each week.

There’s no one single list for children’s best sellers. Rather, NYT divides them into categories: picture book, children’s middle grade hardcover, children’s series, and young adult hardcover. For this, I’m just sticking to picture books, middle grade, and series.

Some ground rules for this project:

1. I will read from a different list each week. In order: picture book, middle grade hard cover, children’s series. Wash, rinse, repeat.
2. I will read the first* book on each list.
3. If I have already read the first book on the list, I will move to the second, and so forth.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to come back next year and report back with observations, and perhaps micro-reviews of each book.

*Except The Ickabog.