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July is Flash Fiction Month! I’ll be sharing short short stories here through the month of July. This one is partially based on a true story.

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How to make the perfect fauxjito:

1. Get mint from the garden.
2. That’s not mint. That’s sage.
3. Get mint from the garden. Good, you found the right one.
4. Muddle the mint by crushing it in a glass with sugar, and the juice of half a lime.
5. Just half a lime.
6. Put the lime down, Jesus.
7. Add a shot of your choice of rum replacement. I prefer Seedlip Garden 108, it’s fresh and
8. Do not accuse me of being sponsored. This isn’t a sponsored recipe. 
9. What are you doing with that salt? You don’t need salt for this. 
10. Add ice to your glass. 
11. Why are you praying? Are you praying? I know that you’re new to making cocktails but I promise it’s not that difficult. 
12. Add seltzer to your glass until it’s full.
13. HOW DID YOU DO THAT
14. THIS ISN’T THAT HARD
15. OH MY GOD I CAN HEAR THE HOUNDS OF HELL BAYING FOR ENTRY
16. GUARD THE DOOR DO NOT LET THEM IN
17. THERE’S NO TIME QUICK GARNISH YOUR DRINK GARNISH YOUR DRINK
18. NOT WITH THE SAGE
19. GARNISH YOUR GLASS WITH MINT BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE
20. Enjoy your fauxjito!